Full House
by KAIplue
Summary: A Full house! The Weiss and Swartz are living under one roof! A night at the karaoke bar, a trip to the hots springs and a drive thru to McDonalds! Whaha! Expect cahos chaos and more chaos!
1. Fluffy Handcuffs

Full House

AN: Wha! It's my first time to do a Randomness Fic! Wee! Hurray for me! (applauses for self)XD And it's Weiß again… yeah I'm sick and tired of them, but what the hey! It's still my first Randomness fic! Expect chaos chaos and more chaos! I dunno… It just came to me one night while I was lying on my bed. Then it hit me! _What if the Weiss and Swartz were living in the same roof?_ So… I got started on it immediately. Whaha! No. Actually, I derived this idea from a Yugi-Oh fic I've read about a year ago. And it's missing! I can't find it anywhere in this site. Which is sad because I wanna know what happens next. If you know whatever happened to that fic please inform me! I don't even know who the author is and I practically worship her/him. I think the title was…umm… House a la Homo. If you were one of it's reviewers or if you know something about it please do tell me. I miss it so much… Oh, by the way. It's my first time to use the Swartz! Yay! I get to play with Schulich and the gang! I just love playing with sadistic, psychotic, twisted and insane people!... because I'm one too! Whaha! Only, I'm not a sadist. I'm just plain loony!XP

Schuldich: Now, enough with this empty babbling chit chat and get on with it my fellow psycho! (laughs like a maniac)

Kaiplue-sama: Oui mon Capitan! (laughs like a maniac too!)

Disclaimer: Me not own!… If I did own them I'll uh… (ponders) Take over the world? Nah! That's too common… hmmm… I'll… Make them fuck each other on live TV! Whahahahah! XD

* * *

Chapter 1: Fluffy Handcuffs

"NO!"

"What…?"

"What have you done?"

"Why…?"

"This is all wrong!"

"What's wrong with it? I think it looks pretty good now…"

"What are you insane!... Oh wait… You _are_ insane… I forgot."

"What was that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're a weirdo, you twit."

"I blame god for even letting someone like _you_ live…"

The two arguing men stopped abruptly when they heard someone pointedly clearing his throat. "What the heck is going on here?" asked a confused voice.

"Well Farfie-warfie here pruned the fichus plant a tad too much. And now it looks like a dead twig. This is beyond help!" Explained Yuoji, who was restraining himself from strangling the mad man.

"Oh…" Ken blinked, entering the house with two heavy grocery bags.

"Why do I even have to live with god forsaken people like you!" Farfarello pointed an accusing finger.

"Well no one's stopping ya from leaving you crazy harebrained git!" Youji shouted

"What did you call me…?" the Irish man's eye twitched.

Ken sighed as he heard a loud crash come from the room he'd just left, torrents of loud cursing quickly followed suit. Omi suddenly looked up from the kitchen table with is lap top opened.

"I guess their game of 'Go Fish' didn't go too well huh?" he said, still not taking his eyes from his computer.

" 'Go Fish?' " Ken raised an eyebrow. "They weren't playing 'Go Fish'…"

"Oh… I thought they were." Omi blinked.

Nagi shook his head. Ken didn't notice the little guy until he spoke out of nowhere, making Ken jump from his spot… Literally. "ehehe… Omi, you weren't paying too much attention." Nagi said.

"What are you working on anyway?" Ken asked, leaning on the table to peer at the laptop. To his surprise, The young blond suddenly drew it away, keeping his arm on the screen.

"It's nothing! Nothing at all!" Omi shouted, looking aghast.

"What the…?"

Nagi giggled in the back ground. Ken raised an eyebrow again and yanking the computer from the young boy. He succeeded and looked at the screen.

"What the heck is this?" Ken asked, his eyes turned into slits and then grew wide in realization.

Nagi was still giggling in the background.

"I SAID IT'S NOTHING!" Omi screamed, yanking back his computer. A slight blush was smeared across his face.

Ken smirked. "And I thought you were looking at porn sites." He chuckled. "I never knew you like reading Fan fics Omi!"

"And yaoi at that!" Nagi pointed out.

"Shut up you –you… midget boy!" He yelled lunging for the younger brunette. The two young shonen toppled down on the floor rolling around like two fighting cats. Ken just looked amused at all that was happening.

"Well…" He said at length, rubbing the back of his neck. "Could I ask you two to put these groceries away?"

Omi made a noise of acknowledgement, flicking his hand in Ken direction. He was much to preoccupied with wrestling the other to even look up. The former soccer player smiled, shaking his head as he headed upstairs. As he neared his room, he cloud here two arguing voices…

"…Not in a million years."

"Why not? It'd be fun!"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"No."

"Hey… That wasn't even an answer!"

"No."

"Can't you say anything other that monosyllabic tones?"

"No."

"Aww! Come on!"

"No."

Ken peeked his head around the bedroom door, and to his horror, he saw Schuldich and Aya sitting on the bed. Aya was lying on his back, a book in hand and was using it quite effectively to keep Schu a safe distance away from him, while the orange haired youth was looking exceptionally pissed.

"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING TO HIM!" Ken roared, looking outraged.

"Oh. Hello Kenken." Schuldich waved and winked. "Wanna join us? So it can be a threesome!"

Aya looked at him in disbelief, eyes twitching slightly. "It is NOT a threesome. And _YOU_ are NOT joining!" he pointed a finger at Schuldich.

"GET YOUR DIRTY PAWS OFF HIM YOU…YOU BASTARD!" Ken lunged forward.

Fortunately for Schu, he was able to dodge the attack and hit the floor. "Haha! Missed me missed me now you wanna kiss me!" The German sang, sticking out his tongue. The mind reader sniggered at him, waving a pointing finger back and forth. "Tsk tsk…My my, a little over excited aren't we Siberian. Mien lei be."

"Why you…" Ken was about to lunge again until the redhead yanked him back by the shirt preventing him from pummeling the German to pieces. "Let me at'em! Let he at'em!" Ken struggled.

Just then, a knock came to the door and in came the American dude in the suit. Crawford leaned against the door frame in interest, crossing his arms. "Well well well… Doing something naughty aren't we?" he said, adjusting his glasses.

"Get lost Crawfish!" Ken screamed, throwing a pillow at the man, but he just brushed it aside.

"Why are you here?" Asked a disgruntled Aya.

"Well, I was just about to get you two lovebirds because Balinese was saying something about a deranged man ruining a dead twig… Or so I heard." He said cockily. "But I guess you're much too busy at the moment. Mind if I join you?"

"Sure!" Schuldich roared gaily. "Pull up a chair Brad."

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" the redhead yelled. "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!"

a rain of pillows suddenly came over the bespectacled man. But he dodged every hit and landed with a thud on the bed, slowly creeping towards the redhead and the brunette, loosening his tie and jacket. Schuldich quickly followed suit. Aya and Ken found themselves edging away from the impending doom. A series of curses were heard from the room as with a couple of slaps and punches and grunts.

Meanwhile… back down stairs…

_Ding dong_

The door bell rang. The two wrestling boys looked up while Omi was pinning the younger one on the floor. He got up and brushed himself clean, coughing to clear his throat. "Now, who could that be?" Omi asked, reaching for the door.

He opened it and saw a man with a blue suit holding a brown package. The man smiled widely and held out the package to him.

"Weiss?" the man asked.

"Uh… yeah that's us." said Omi, stumbling backwards a few steps as the man suddenly shoved the box in to his stomach.

"Oh. Splendid!" said the man gaily. "Sign here please."

Omi, winded, took the pen and signed his name on the clipboard. The man tipped his hat and pranced off the back step, laughing.

"Weird man…" muttered the boy, walking over to the counter and setting the box down on it. Nagi rushed beside him placing his elbows on his chin.

"What is it Omi? Huh? What is it?" Nagi asked excitedly, jumping up and down.

"I don't know…" he said, looking at the box in great fascination. He took a knife from the cutlery drawer and slit the box open just as Schuldich and Ken came flying down the stairs, landing with a loud thump at the bottom. Ken started swearing immediately, lashing out at the other.

"Get off me you psychotic twisted individual!" the brunette yelped, pounding on the German's back with his fist. Schuldich grunted as he was struck repeatedly.

"Ow! Stop it you hissy fit person! Oh… hi Nagi. OW! SON OF A –"

The end of his comment was cut off by the sound of Omi pointedly clearing his throat. Both men stopped their actions to look at him, seeing the object held in the boy's hands. Ken growled.

"You're not using _those_ on me!" he yelled, pushing Schuldich away angrily. There was another loud crashing noise and Crawford and Aya both came tumbling down the stairs, stopping just short of hitting Ken and Schuldich. Schu spotted the fluffy handcuffs Omi was holding and laughed.

Crawford, who was hastily trying to pull his open shirt back onto his shoulders, looked at Omi in amazement.

"Why, dear boy, that's mighty brave of you! Who are they for?" Schuldich asked in mock amusement.

Omi scowled, throwing them at the German's head. "Their NOT mine you idiot! Quit using _our_ name to order your blasted sex toys!"

Schuldich ducked to avoid the flying handcuffs and promptly lost his grip on the railing, causing him to fall down the last few stairs and land on Aya. "Ommff! Oh, hey Ranny-kins."

"Don't you DARE call me that!" Ran lashed at him.

"What's wrong with sex toys?" Nagi asked. Everybody in the room stopped and stared at the boy in awe.

Just then Youji came in, breaking them from their trance. "Sex toys! Where?" He roared.

"There," said Schuldich, pointing at Aya's wrist. Everyone looked and indeed, they were, locked around the redhead's wrist.

"Hey where the hell did those came from!" Aya yelled, rattling them furiously. Crawford snickered. "Oi, oi, lock this loon in the irons!"

Everyone laughed except for Aya.

"Wait." Youji abruptly stopped. "What the heck is going on here anyway?"

"Orgy," said Schu, regaining his breath. Youji snorted.

"Then go get a bedroom or something. Like the rest of us want to see something like that. And plus, there are kids here." He said, grabbing Omi by the shoulder and covering his eyes with his hands.

"Hey! Let go Youji!" Omi struggled.

"No! It's much too awful to look at!" He said melodramatically.

Farfarello poked his head into the kitchen and scowled. "May god forbid all of you! You're all on drugs!"

There was silence for a few moments after the deranged man left, then Ken spoke.

"I'm not on drugs…"

"No… none of us are," Schu agreed. "he's just having one of those religious breakdowns again."

"hn… figures."

Youji suddenly clasped his hands in glee, grinning with his teeth apart. "Well.. Why don't we all go to a karaoke bar tonight?"

Everyone stared at him at the sudden suggestion.

"Karaoke bar?"

"Yeah! I've won 8 free tickets to the Mew Mew Kitty Karaoke Bar from a magazine catalogue!" Youji exclaimed.

"I'm driving!" Schu yelled, raising his arms in the air.

"NO! Not you!" Ken dreaded. "We'll all just get into a car accident with your driving skills!"

"Then, it's a date!" Youji gleefully said.

* * *

Whaha! Done! Don't ask me how they all got into the same roof because I don't know either.XD Just get with the program. And if you're wondering where the hell did I get the title for this fic, and you're thinking that it's from the Korean novela Full House, well you're wrong. (If you're where I'm from, you would know what I'm taking about.) Were they all OOC? I have no idea… Pardon me for its length and wandering. Actually, I don't know what will happen next. Please tell me what to do ok? But be assured that there will be another chapter! I promise you that. 


	2. Karaoke Chaos

Full House

AN: Nya! Another installment of Full House! What will our love team, Justin and Jessie do next?... No wait… wrong show!XD I still got a hang over that novella. Eww… I can't believe I even _watched_ that. I know a lot of you don't have a fucking clue what the hell I'm talking about… (Kung alam mo, edi alam mo na rin kung saan ako nakatira!) Whhahaa! Hmm… maybe I should change the title to 'Lovers in Paris'… or better yet, I'll bring out the worst and name it 'Meteor Garden' and change the name of Weiss to F4!... uh… I'm getting off the subject here. -sweatdrops- This has nothing to do with the fic ok?XD Just don't mind my babbling. My insanity is playing tricks on my head again.

Disclaimers: I don't own them. But I did kidnapped them and I promised Koyasu that I'll return them a soon as possible… if he ever pays the ransom money that is… -evil laugh- Bwhahahahahahahaha! I'm gonna take over the world! Bwhahahahahahah! -cough- -chokes- -dies- X-X

(note: The Mew Mew Kitty Karaoke Bar does not exist. If it did, which would be cool, then I don't own it.)

* * *

Chapter 2: Karaoke Chaos!

"Sumimasen deshita Okyaku-san." A waitress knocked on the private room door. "Your orders are here, sirs."

Torrents of loud tone deaf voices were coming from the room behind the door with music blaring so loud it hurt your ears. With a loud bang someone reached for the door and opened it hastily for the waitress. Ken snatched the tray of snacks and drinks from her and slammed it again. The waitress blinked in surprise and then frowned. "Well I never…!" she said and stomped away.

"Food's here!" Ken called over to the guys. "Hey, no alcohol for Omi and Nagi!"

"Aww…" The two boys whined.

"Oh goody!" Yoji jumped off the couch and raced for the food of tray in Ken's hands, grabbing a hand full of potato chips and shoving it to his mouth, crumbs flying everywhere on the floor.

"Eww… Yoji, you're such a pig." Omi commented, getting his glass of banana juice from the tray, as Ken laid it down on the table.

"Yeah… why don't you be a civilized human being sometimes Koudo." Farfarello agreed. "So we can all eat without throwing up."

"_Excuse me_?" Yoji said in disbelief, placing his hands on his waist. "Me? Uncivilized? Man, you have never seen such a true refined being such as myself! Me Yoji Koudo, Lover Boy Extraordinaire!"

"Oh, and stuffing your face with potato chips is refined?" Crawford sarcastically remarked behind his wine glass.

"Put a sock in it Crawfish." Yoji glared at him. "Or I'll shut you up by ripping your dick out and shoving it up your – "

A sudden blare of loud music and a very bad tone-deaf voice cut his sentence for him.

"_I FOUND A REASON FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... TO CHANGE WHO I USED TO BEEEEEEEEEEE… THE REASON FOR ALL THAT I DOOOOOOOOOOO… AND THE REASON IS_ _YOOOOOOOOOU! AND THE REASON IS YOOOOOOOOOOU!..._" Schulich sang… or rather screamed in the mic and dancing melodramatically around the room, pointing at them in 'YOU' part.

Suddenly out of nowhere, a bottle of vodka hit the tone-deaf German in the head with a loud crash as it broke in to pieces.

"Ow! Hey! What the heck did you do that for?" Schulich faced the brunette with a vain pop.

"Will you shut up you tone-deaf bimbo person!" Ken shouted.

"You dick wad! I was really getting into the song!"

"Too much actually." Aya grunted, picking his ear. "I thought my eardrums would brake."

"I think my ears are bleeding!" Youji yelped, covering them with the sofa pillows, turning into a ball on the floor, rocking back and forth and sucking his thumb.

"Is the war over?" Omi asked with a maniac look in his eyes, peeking his head from under the table. "Damage report! Damage report!"

Ken grabbed the poor boy by the shoulders and hoisting him up back onto his feet. "Oi, snap out of it Omi! Snap out of it!" Ken shook the kid vigorously, slapping him once or twice. Omi blinked and regained is composure.

"-sigh- Yogata." Ken sighed in relief. "that's enough war games in Play Station for you young man." Ken said in his most threatening maternal voice ever. Nagi, Crawford, Schuldich and Farfarello all laughed, falling their stomachs to the floor.

Aya gave the Swartz his patented Super Ultra Mega Over to the Max Death Glare™ and the four of them abruptly stopped. Everyone in the room blinked.

"You know what this remind me of?" Ken side commented.

"What?" Aya said, facing him.

"That Vietnam War fan fic we did."

Someone snorted. "Heh, yeah. We went through serious shit there." Yoji pulled out of his curl.

"To bad Omi and Crawford died in the middle."

"Yeck. . don't remind me!" Omi whined.

"I remember I fucked you so hard." Aya teased Ken, pulling the brunette's waist slightly. Ken blushed and looked away.

"I hate doing fan fics…" Omi murmured. "Deranged fan girls try to manipulate you in some ways you can't even imagine!"

"Well at least you get to experience hard fucks." Schuldich said gleefully.

"You only say that because you haven't experienced fending off deranged fangirls away by a ten foot pole!" Ken said. "I'm tellin' you, these girls could kill ya!"

Schuldich flips his hair and winks. "So that's the reason you turned gay. You got Female phobia."

"Shut up."

"Hey guys! What song should we sing next?" Nagi interrupted their little conversation.

"Anything… just don't let Schuldich sing again." Aya warned.

Schuldich sticks out his tongue to the redhead and mutters, "Tight ass."

"Hey I know!" Omi jumps to the couch and flips through the song catalogue. "Why don't we sing our Opening theme song?"

"Aargh… I'm sick and tired of that song!" Ken whined. "Who's the bastard who composed it anyway?"

"I did." came a blunt answer. Everyone looked in Ran's direction.

"Oh…"

"Well technically, Koyasu Takehito did." Omi pointed out.

"What's the difference?" Yoji said. "He's the same guy isn't he?"

"hn…"

"Why don't we sing something from Gravitation?" Nagi suggested.

"What are you, some kind of yaoi fan boy?" Farfarello nudged the boy in the ribs.

"Yeah, and we could color Omi's hair pink so he can be that gay Shindou guy." Yoji said, snickering. "Hehe, the likeness is uncanny!"

"Then we could dye Aya's hair blond so he can be that Yuki guy." Schuldich added, chuckling to himself.

"I can't believe you guys even _watch_ that show." Ken said. "That anime has the words 'gay slut' written all over it!" ;; sorry to all the Gravi fans out there! I meant no harm! Because I too am a Gravi fan! "Shouldn't you guys be suggesting L'arcenciel or Glay or what not…?"

"Or Britney Spears…" Yoji joked.

"Just pick a fucking song already!" Omi whined.

"I'm waaaaay ahead of you guys." Schuldich smirked.

"Oh shit. Don't!"

But even before anyone could stop him, the music starts playing. The intro was pretty fast and before you know it, the German was singing the lyrics. He put the hand on his waist and put on a face of mock seriousness. There was a pause and then…

"_First I was afraid… I was petrified…_" Schulidch sang, and everyone in the room fell over anime style. "_Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side… _Yeah! Sing it with meh!XD_"_ he said, dancing like a maniac around the room, swinging his hips in a seductive manner.

Aya put a hand over his face in annoyance. "That's the gayest thing I've ever seen…" He muttered.

"This ain't a fucking gay bar you PSYCHOTIC FUCKING HOMO!" Ken took another bottle of vodka and threw it again to the singing German, but this time he missed by a long shot and Schuldich continued to sing. "YEAH! _I will survive!… I will survive! Hey hey!_"

"Oh yeah? Survive this!" Ken started throwing stuff at him and even attempted to take the mic away. They both land on the floor, rolling around, wrestling one another. Everyone just stared at the fighting couple on the floor in amusement.

"Ok! I'm gonna put Y600 on Ken." Youji slammed his hand on the table. "Whose up for the bet?"

"Youji, please don't start." Omi said. .;;

"I'm routing for Schuldich!" Farf said enthusiastically.

Crawford lifted his legs up lazily onto the seat in front of him and put his arms behind his head as the two rolled underneath him, smirking slightly. "You know," he drawls. "that's what a room _is_ for."

Suddenly Aya, loomed over him, pulling his collar by the neck and his eyes turning into slits. "If you get any ideas I swear I'll shove my katana up you're ass. I wouldn't mind wiping shit out of it. You bastard."

"Oooh… I'm shaking in my boots." The American mocked. "A little over protective aren't we oh so fearless leader of Weiss… Wouldn't want one of your beloved teammates to get rapped… Or rather…" he smirks. "your dearly beloved Kenken."

Aya gave him is Super Ultra Mega Over to the Max Death Glare™ to shut him up.

"Ok. Break it up you two." Omi tried to pull the wrestling men on the floor apart.

"Were here to have fun aren't we?" Nagi squeaked, giving a helping hand to Omi.

"Who's 'bright' idea was this anyway?" Yoji complained, stretching himself on the couch.

"It was yours Yotan." Omi pointed out.

"Oh… right. I forgot." Yoji blinked.

"By the way. How did you manage to get the tickets Yoji? Did you join a contest or something?" Ken asked, brushing himself off.

"Well I don't know. I didn't enter any. It just came in today in the mail, they said it was from a magazine catalogue. I wouldn't know…"

"Then if you didn't join a contest… Where the heck did those tickets came from?" Omi pondered, putting his fingers to his chin. Yoji shrugged.

"Hey guys… I think you better look at this…" a nervous voice said. Everyone looked at Nagi who was looking behind the Karaoke machine.

"What is it Nagi-chan?" Schuldich asked. Nagi didn't reply but only gulped.

All of them went to look behind it and everyone just stopped breathing. They looked at each other in confusion and gulped at the same time.

"W-who put that there?"

"That doesn't matter! We gotta get out'a here quick!"

"Shouldn't we try to detonate it? Red wire? Blue wire?"

"There's no time! Everybody get out now!"

Without a seconds hesitance they ran out of the private room, down the stairs and out of the Karaoke bar into the busy streets of Shibuya.

"Everyone duck!"

Two seconds later there was a huge explosion coming from the 2nd floor of the bar, shooting debris everywhere that took a lot of attention from onlookers.

The first one to recover was Aya. "Ok, anyone who's not dead, sound off." A series of moans and groans came from his companions. "Ok.., good so one's dead." He stands up and looks to the night sky. "TAKATORI SHI NEEEE!"

Everyone sweatdropped, even the onlookers.

"Aya, why do you always blame Takatori…?" Omi asked as he brushed some of the debris that landed on him.

"Well… isn't he always the culprit?" Aya blinked.

"You know, it makes me wonder how he does it. Takatori's everywhere!" Ken shouted.

"It's one of life's greatest mysteries I suppose."

"Aww man!" Nagi pouted, Everybody looked at him. "I didn't even get to sing!"

Everyone fell down animé style again…

* * *

Haha! Done for Cahptaa two! makes peace sign with fingers I hope you liked it. I can only do so much randomness in one situation. XD Was that chaos or what? Whahahahahah! Too much OOC-ness going on… I apologize for that. bows Watch out for the next Chap! Oki? Oki!

Note: The Vietnam War thingy? Well I got that from the 'The Sweet Hell We Shared'. I know most of you people already read that. But If you haven't then tough luck, you suck! XP I highly recommend it. Doctor's order! Read it. It ROCKS LIKE HELL! XD

Next time on Full House: McDonald's Madness!


	3. McDonald's Madness!

Chapter 3: McDonalds Madness!

AN: Ok. Another chapter's here again. I don't even know if people even read this crap which disappoints me a lot! -cries- I haven't got much reviews for this. But I'm still gonna post this up and see what's gonna happen. Actually, I was about to replace this chapter with the chapter in the hot springs. But I thought it over and realize that that doesn't make any sense at all if I promised to write about the McDonald's thingy in the last chapter…-shrugs- Welp, so much for world domination… Oh yeah, one more thing, about the wrong spelling, typos and some unwanted wrong grammars? Yeah, I noticed them too,. The disappearance of apostrophes and the lack of some punctuation marks demolish the true meaning of a said statement. And well, sad to say English isn't my first language to tell you the truth… (My, I'm also spending too much time with consecutive periods too, haven't I? -.-;;)

Disclaimer: Me? Own McDonalds™? Now that would be the day. But it would be a great tool in taking over the world! –evil laugh- Bwhahahahaha! Think of the possibilities! Ok… I'm _done_ with world domination. It's sooO boring anyway… _Weiß_ and _Swartz_ are German words that means 'white' and 'black'… Big DUH! No. I don't own them nor do I speak them in a daily basis. What? You think I'm German? Ha!

* * *

Somewhere there are foot steps. Not so quiet foot pads break the noise and exaggerated voices echo outside of the glass windows and doors of the world renowned franchise fast food chain restaurant. Torrents of muffled loud cursing could be heard through the glass as the people inside stop for a bit from eating their burgers.

"Someday I _swear_ I'm gonna kill that Takatori! Why the hell did he have to blow the stinkin' place up? Now we have to pay for it! So much for 'free' tickets!"

"Now now, Ranny-kins. Remember you're blood pressure."

"How many times do I have to knock you out to remind you not to _call_ me that?"

"Eheh. You know, if this were a cartoon, there'll be smoke coming out from your ears."

"This _is_ a cartoon Yoji."

"No. this is an _animé_."

"Whatever. It's still animated isn't it? What's the difference?"

"SHUT UP BEFORE I KILL YOU ALL!"

"Whacha gonna do? Bring out your katana and shove it up in all our asses and at the same time reviling _our_ true identity as assassins? Smooth move oh fearless leader."

"Too late, you already did."

"Oh………oh shit! I hope nobody heard that!"

"Smooth move Ken."

"It's god that you should be mad at. He betrayed us all…"

(ten second pause)

"Uh…"

"Ooooh…! Mcdonald's! Can we eat here? Huh? Can we? Can we? Please?"

"Ok! Just stop jumping midget boy. People are staring."

"Yay!"

"…I hate this place…"

"Aww… come on Aya."

"-sigh- Fine."

"Quick! Into the McDonald's and lock the door before Aya comes in and destroys the place!" A loud clatter of feet raced towards the restaurant and a sudden burst came from the double doors, letting a group of mischievous looking men in.

"What the fuck?…!" Aya sweared

"How do you lock this thing?" Farfarello asked.

"Try that little silver knob!" Yoji pointed.

"Oh." And with that he locked the double doors leaving a fuming Aya outside.

"You guys are unbelievable." Omi said crossing his arms. "Very '_mature'_." He said sarcastically.

"Hey! Don't lock me out!" Aya shouted and pounded on the door.

"Aya-san, don't pound on the door so hard, or you'll break it." Crawford said amused.

"So! What the hell do I care?" Aya ranted. "I swear, you guys are _so_ dead when I get my hands on you!"

"You might just want to fuck when you get your hands on us." Schuldich slyly said.

"Shut up you slutty perverted nincompoop!" Ken fwaped the back of Schu's head.

"Ow!"

"And I thought Yoji was the slutty one." Nagi pondered.

"No. Yoji _is_ a slut. But Schuldich's the twisted psychotic pervert." Ken corrected.

A mock cough was heard behind them and the seven of them looked. A middle-aged couple looking quite perturbed was standing at the door at the other end of the entryway, uncertain of whether they should get a chance going through or not.

"Oh. Go-gomen nasai!" Omi apologized for their group, bowing as he did.

Grumbling, Farfarello unlocked the door that led outside. Aya, brushed himself, putting on his passive mask, grunting a monosyllabic tone before glaring his patented glare of Super Ultra Mega Over to the Max Death Glare ™ at his 'friends' and entering.

Yoji held open the door for the couple, flashing a smile that made the older woman blush, and apologizing.

Omi rolled his eyes. "You're always such a flirt."

"Jealous?" Yoji smirked.

Omi looked away, blushing.

"Ah, who cares?" he said ruffling Omi's hair. "You'll always be my bishounen, Omittchi." He said and went straight to the counter to flirt with the lady cash register.

"Well, that was entertaining." Crawford said, letting his long slender fingers run through his black hair. "Lets cut this little chit chat and lets eat." The American suggested.

"Great! I'm fucking starving." Ken said enthusiastically, rubbing his stomach.

"Shh… guys don't swear. There are children in here." Omi warned.

"Oh… sorry."

Aya shrugged and made his way to the counter, looking at the menu up above, placing his fingers to his chin deciding on what to order. Schu followed behind him who ordered… everything as he pointed, earning him an odd look from the cashier. Aya's brow twitched with irritation with a vain pop, fwaping the German from the back of his head.

"We'll take two Number Ones, four burgers and two Big Mac's™, and four large French fries. Oh, and coffee too." Aya said, directing the order towards the confused-looking guy behind the counter. "Cancel anything this moron told you."

"But Ayaaaaaaaa…" the German whined in a sing-song voice. "I'm really hungry!"

Aya merely glared at him.

"Hey, can we get a Happy Meal™?" Nagi and Omi asked in chorus.

Aya siged and turned to the cashier. "And two orders of Cheese Burger Happy Meal™ please." he added.

"Can I get one too Aya-kun? Pretty pweees?" Schu batted his eyelashes in mock pleading.

"No." he said bluntly.

"That would be Y1,985 sir." said the guy, setting their order in the food tray on the counter.

Aya grumbled while fishing his pocket for his wallet. Counting the bills and coins until he got the correct amount of money and giving it to the cash register guy.

The cashier counted the money and placing it in the cash register. "Thank you and enjoy your meal."

He looked over his back and saw the others were already seated. He made a bee line towards them with Schu, Nagi and Omi on his heel. He slammed the tray with much needed force making the table's occupants jump. "Why do I always have to pay?" he complained.

"Because you're the only one willing to get your wallet out of you pocket." Crawford pointed out, earning him a growl from the redhead.

Nagi and Omi happily seated themselves next to each other, grabbing their bags of Happy Meal™. Schuldich placed his elbows on the table looking enviously at the two happy kids. "Hey, where's Yotan and Kenken?" he asked smugly.

Farf, who had just bitten off from his burger, smearing some catsup on his face, pointed his thumb towards the soda machines.

"Yoji, you forgot to put ice in it." Ken said aghast, pulling his cup from under the machine.

"Wrong! If I put ice in, it'll eventually melt, and then my soda will be watery!" he made a face. "And watery soda sucks!"

"Well some of us want our sodas to be cold." Ken said, putting it under the ice machine.

"Pift. Suit yourself." Yoji shrugged, pouring himself some Coke Lights™.

"Oh…"

"Hey, don't I get a free toy with this?" Nagi said from inside the bag, practically stuffing his whole head in it.

"Why? Didn't they put it in there?" Asks Farf. "Did god took it away?"

"Well, no." he said peeking from under the bag.

"Heh, Schuldich stole it." Aya pointed.

And indeed they were. Schuldich amused himself by rolling the toy car on the table, making raspberry sounds and some 'broom broom's.

"Hey give that back!" Nagi shouted. Schu stuck out his tongue.

"It's mine!"

"No it's not." Nagi used his telekinesis powers to remove the toy out from his older friend's grip and into his own hands.

"Aww." He wined and pouted.

"In the first place you shouldn't play with toy cars anymore you immature psycho." Yoji said, sitting himself on a chair with the sodas. Ken snickered.

"Shut up, you blond bimbo person."

"Gee… thanks Schu, that makes me feel special." came the sarcastic remark.

"hmp!" he pouted again and stared at his burger. "And it's not 'psycho' it's '_psychic_'." He corrected.

"Hmp. Whatever… what's the difference." Yoji shrugged.

Schu made record time by devouring his burger in three minutes, scarfing the fries in less than two, and then asking Aya for more.

"How can you eat so much, you pig!" the Yoji asked in utter disbelief. "You practically _inhale_ food!"

Crawford snorted and murmured, "heh, look who's talking." Under his breath so no one could hear.

"I told you I was hungry! How can you _not_ eat so much? You've only finished half of your burger!"

Yoji pointed to his bare midriff and poses. "I'm watching my figure."

"Would you guys please be not too loud?"

"What do you mean, Omi?" Yoji asked.

"Yeah. There's only," Ken had to pause and count, "six other people here!"

"I wonder why it's so empty..." Crawford pondered.

"Because it's 2 o'clock." Getting more confused stares, Nagi continued, "The lunch rush is over, and it's Tuesday,"

"...What does it being Tuesday have to do with anything?" Aya raised an eyebrow.

Nagi only shrugged. "I dunno."

"Mmmm… I want ice cream." Ken suddenly said, standing from his seat and walking off to the counter.

Yoji stretched in his seat and burping as he did so, rubbing his stomach, earning him odd looks from Omi.

"Ewww…You _are _a pig…" Omi said, rolling his eyes.

"And disgusting…" Schu added.

Ken came back with his ice cream dip and licking it in a hurry. Aya noticed him, moving over to the seat and licking seductively on Ken's ice cream. The brunette blushed deeply at the simple gesture, seeing the glint in Aya's eyes. The redhead leaned closer taking another lick.

"Hm, I take that back. These two are more disgusting." He said pointing a thumb at the two.

"Well. I'm stuffed." Yoji stood up. "What are we gonna do now?"

"Lets hurt god!" Farf suggested with a maniac look in his eyes, taking out his dagger. There was an awkward ten second pause before Yoji spoke up.

"Why don't we all go to a bar or club?"

"What? No way! Please remember that we still have minors with us."

"Hey… what was that supposed to mean Brad?"

"Why don't we all go the movies?"

"No! The amusement park!"

"hurt god!"

"Bar!"

"Movies!"

"Amusement park!"

And before you know it, the six of them were shouting at the top of their lungs and at each other's throats. Farfafello kept on shouting about hurting god and flashing his dagger in a scary manner. Yoji kept arguing with Schuldich while pulling each other's hair like deranged women. Omi and Nagi kept shouting a Crawford for calling them minors and insisting that they go to an amusement park…

As for Ken and Aya? Well lets just say they're a little preoccupied with each other.

Ice cream left forgotten on the floor, Ken shrank closer to the wall, hoping Aya wouldn't try something else, but said man just leaned in closer, intent on doing just that. Ken pivoted his body so his feet were on the bench and his knees were between his body and the advancing man's. Aya smiled slyly, sat up so he was on his knees, and leaned over the brunette.

The wine-eyed man leaned in closer, and closer, pushing one of Ken's knees down with his palms so it was under the table. The brunette tried to scoot farther back, but only resulted in practically laying down on the bench. Red locks dangled in front of his face as Aya leaned even closer, and he lost the will to fight back.

Aya's breath was warm and sweet against his lips, his wine-hued eyes dancing merrily in triumph. Ken tilted his head up to allow the other better access. His heart was racing from contact that was now-desperately-desired, and he could feel his face heating up even more. Then…

"Could you _please_ not do that here?" An aghast looking mother said, covering the eyes of her son.

Ken blushed even more, pushing Aya off of him. With a loud thump, the redhead landed on his bottom on the floor. Ken bowed repeatedly saying, "Gomen nasai. Gomen nasai. Gomen nasai!" to the woman.

Only then did the both of them noticed the commotion going on between their companions. Both of them sweat dropped.

"What the heck is going on here?" Ken asked. Aya shrugged.

"ALRIGHT! THAT'S IT!" someone shouted. All 8 of them looked up to find an pissed-looking manager of McDonald's staring down at them. "I would have to ask you young gentle men to leave immediately." He said, trying to be calm as possible.

Everyone was silent for ten seconds, blinked, then resumed their bickering.

The next thing they knew they were being kicked out of the restaurant, literally. Soaring in mid air and landing with a loud thump on the pavement.

"Out! Out! Out! Out!" The manager shouted. "AND STAY OUT!" and slamming the double doors in front of them.

Aya was the first to stand up, a vain popping on his head. "Oh yeah! Well… we never even liked your burgers anyway!" A hand grabbed him by the arm, he turns and saw Omi shaking his head.

"Give it a rest Aya-kun." Omi said.

"Who does that bastard think he is?" Yoji cursed, brushing away some dirt on his pants.

"So…" Ken said. "What are we gonna do now?"

"Hurt god!" Farf shouted.

"No! Movies!"

"No! The bars!"

"No! The Amusement park!"

And again resuming their argument. Schu lunged at Yoji, pulling his hair again, Farfarello daggled his dagger menacingly then cuts himself on the wrist, laughing like a maniac. Brad covered his face with his hand, feeling a headache coming on from the wining teenagers.

"er…Forget I asked?" Ken blinked. Aya sighed.

* * *

Hehe. Sorry. There's only so much randomness I could handle. XD

Next up: At the Movies!


	4. Movie Mayhem

Full House

Chapter 4: Movie Mayhem

AN: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrgh! How long have I been asleep? . Damn it! -bangs head on the wall- x.x

well anyhoo… sorry it's been a long time since I wrote… My sincerest apologies. -bows-

I've been so busy these past several weeks (the computer broke down, school started, read fics about switching bodies… and such) that I have not yet been able to write properly. So all my fics were on hold… Dang… I hope people would still read this crappy thing that I have created. Thanks to all who read and reviewed and to all who read but _did not_ review. (note to self: Do NOT read fics about switching bodies! EVER AGAIN!)

Disclaimer: I'll put all the disclaimers at the end of the chapter so not to spoil the whole thing for ya.XD

* * *

The clock ticks… a heavy sigh… eight pairs of eyes glared at each other… a huff and a puff of smoke… another sigh…

"Ok…" a deep voice said. Its owner's amethyst eyes glared into slits. "There's only one way to settle this…" He declared.

The clock ticks again and the tension heightened… a bead of sweat rolled down… a huff, a sigh… and then a nod.

"On three,"

Everyone nodded in chorus.

"One… two… three!"

"ROCK PAPER SICORRS!"

Everyone threw in their hand… And, to much astonishment…Everyone held out a hand with '_paper_'. But…

"Aha! I won!" someone exclaimed. Seven pairs of eyes glared at the orange haired German who was laughing in triumph. To everybody's disbelief and disappointment, he indeed won. All held out '_paper_' while he was the only one who held out '_scissor_s'.

"Aww no…" grumbled the seven as the German pranced off and danced.

* * *

At the movies…

"Would you watch where you put your hand Yoji?" said a pissed off Omi who slapped the older blonde's hand for the nth time.

"What?" the playboy said innocently. "It's not like it's my fault your popcorn is down there."

Schuldich snorted. "You know, someone could interpret that in more ways than one."

"Oh, for example. You?"

"Heh, yeah." The German casually brushed off a lock of hair.

"Pift!" Omi pouted. "You're both sluts."

"Aww… Ish da wittle Omi-wommy pissy-wissy just because he didn't get to the amusement park?" Shuldig teased in his baby talk.

"Don't start Schuldich." Omi threatened.

"Oohh.. I'm shakin' in me boots" He mocked.

Omi looked down and saw that Schuldich was wearing black Faraggamo shoes. "You're not _wearing_ any boots." The computer hacker pointed out while tilting his head. Yoji chortled. "It's a figure of speech Omittchi." He ruffled the kid's hair.

"Aww…Omi-wommy ish such a dummy!" Schu said, again engaging in his baby talk. Omi was about to strangle him When Aya suddenly bonked him in the head with a rolled up newspaper.

"Would you stop being a prick?" Aya said in gritted teeth. He was plucked to the very last nerve.

Schuldich clicked his tongue and waved his finger back and forth. "Now now Ranny-kins, remember what I've told you about your blood pressure."

A vain popped on the redhead's forehead. That was _it_. That was the last draw! His katana and black leather trench coat magically appeared out of nowhere (which is physically impossible that many scientists cannot even explain until now), giving Schuldich the Super Ultra Mega Over to the Max Death Glare™ and growled "SHI-NEEEE!"

The katana wielding assassin was about to charge when a sudden tug held him back, making him stumble backwards. He flew off the ground and landed safely on the American's lap.

"Temper temper." Crawford smirked, clicking his tongue and waving his pointer finger back anf forth. "You almost blew your own cover there."

Aya squirmed, suddenly finding himself katana-less, hand-cuffed and unable to move. "What the fuck?" He cursed and dangled the hand-cuffs. "I thought I told you to get rid of these!"

"You did." Crawford pointed out, poking the tip of Aya's nose. "But I'd predicted that it'd be handy someday…" He grinned. "And besides… their fuzzy!XD" he mused.

"Yeah, and pink too." Schu drawled. "Very feminine Ranny-kins."

Aya's eye twitched slightly with irritation. "Why you ̶ !"

The Abyssinian managed to lunge at the German, but Shuldig managed to avoid it sending him and Crawford smack down to the floor. Crawford took this opportunity to pin Aya on the ground and have his evil ways with him.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaargh! Get off me!" Aya yelled.

"Make me…" Crawford smirked again. Aya growled.

The two men went rolling under the seats and Schuldich, Yoji and Omi only watched in slight amusement. Just when all this was happening, Omi stood up and started towards the aisle. Yoji grabbed for one of the boy's legs to stop him, almost making Omi stumble. "No! You can't leave me!" He said melodramatically. Again, Omi tried to free himself by slapping the other's hand away.

"No get! I'm just going to get more popcorn!" he said, throwing a piece of licorice at the older man.

Yoji caught it with his mouth and ate it as he pulled the boy making the both of them topple down under the seats rolling with the other two. Schuldich just looked at everything in smirking amusement with his thumb on his chin.

"Well since, none of you are capable of going to the concessionary I'll take the liberty of going myself. I'm so good." He said cockily as he made his way to the aisle.

"Hey get me some alcohol will ya!" Crawford shouted after him as he tried to shift his weight on top of a cursing and pissed Aya.

"I don't think they sell alcohol in theaters…" he mumbled, and shrugged. "But… ok! Got it boss!" he raised a thumbs up in the air before pushing open the double doors out of the theater.

He made a bee-line towards the concessionary and surprised to see Ken and Farfarello arguing. The mind-reader found Nagi sitting on the counter while swinging both his legs as he watched the two men's brawl. Schuldich placed his elbows on the counter and hand to his chin before turning to Nagi. "_Well well well… what's happening here?_" he spoke in his mind.

"_Ken's mad at Farf._" Nagi said simply.

Schuldich raised an eyebrow. "_I could see that… But do tell me why._" He said as he squatted down to look at the snacks behind the glass.

"_Well… Farf tried to buy me some alcohol but Ken said no. Then Farf told him that it would hurt God by making me drink. Then Ken said I couldn't drink because I was under aged… then he said that I was only six …and well… you get the picture._"

"_Oh…_"

"_But heck! I'm not six years old! That's why I'm letting Farfy pummel Siberian to dust!_" he grinned mischievously.

"I see… interesting…" Schuldich said as bored as ever. He tapped his finger on the counter to get the cashier's attention. The woman behind the counter looked at him smugly. "What do you want?" she snapped.

"Can I have some popcorn? Oh, and Strawberry Pocky and licorice, and uhm… uh… Oh! Two bottles of alcohol please." He grinned when he finished.

The lady raised an eyebrow. "How old are you exactly?"

"Oh, it's not for me, it's for my friend."

"Crawfish can't have alcohol because he's only five!" Ken shouted at his back.

"What!" the lady said outraged. "You can't give children alcohol!"

"Don't listen to this bastard," He pointed his thumb towards Ken who was shouting at Farfarello. "My friend's actually 22… uh… or is it 23?" he counted his fingers.

"Oh! So he's 45! Good." She suddenly smiled and handed out two bottles of Vodka. Schuldich blinked at the sudden change of attitude.

Suddenly she shoved the two bottles to Schu's stomach and started throwing bags of food at them, including bags of chips, seaweed, noodles, popcorn, gummy bears, licorice, pocky… "Now go! Get out of my sight! Get!"

Schuldich took the bottles and Nagi by the arm and ran for his life towards the theater. "Better take for cover guys!" he said to the two arguing men.

"Duck!" Ken shouted who had noticed the situation and hit the ground. But Farf who was slow on the intake didn't take for cover and got hit with a heavy soda can in the crotch.

"Ow… Fucking god…!" he gasped, dropping to the floor and started to rock back and forth.

Schuldich can't help but to stop and laugh. Ken wasn't able to stand up and because he was rolling on the ground with hysterical laughter. Nagi raced toward Farf's side and asked if he was ok.

Another rain of food bags and bottles came and Schu and Ken burst towards the theater. They slammed the double doors shut and heaved heavy breaths. There was a sudden long pause before both of them looked at each other and started laughing.

"Man! That was hilarious! AHAHAHAHAHAH!" Ken cried out loud.

"Glad you have the same sick humor I got mien liebe." Schu commented.

"Don't compare me to that sick twisted mind of yours Schul-_DICK."_

"Oh hoh! The greatest come back of the year!" He said sarcastically.

"Oi! Where's my alcohol?" A voice yelled, both he and Ken looked at its direction.

"Coming dear!" Shuldich replied and pranced off towards Crawford.

Ken followed him with bags off chips and popcorn, but suddenly stopped and dropped all that he was carrying when he saw his supposedly boyfriend hand-cuffed and sitting on Crawford's lap. He dropped to his knees on the floor and covered his mouth.

"AYA! HOW COULD YOU!"

"Ken… i-It's not what you think…!" the redhead tried to explain.

"Oh…It's _exactly_ what he thinks," Crawford butted in, pulling on Aya's collar and drawing their faces close. "Because you're mine…" his voice dropping a little lower as it should be.

Aya glared his trade mark glare. "Touch me and you die."

Ken started to whimper on the floor. "Y-y-you're… YOU'RE NOT THE MAN I MARRIED!" he cried.

People around them started giving affronted looks and started to whisper amongst themselves.

"Kenken, this is not the time and place for your emotional breakdowns." Yoji hissed.

"Aww, the poor child," Schuldig mused, as he picked up Ken from the floor. "Don't be jealous Kenken. You'll have you're turn with Crawford soon." He teased. "As for the mean time, you'll have me to play with."

"Shut up you psycho! Unhand me!" the soccer player tried to break free. But Schuldich's got other plans in mind. He suddenly scooped Ken off his feet and carried him in his arms like he was the bride of some sort.

"Sit with me mien liebe."

"NO!" Ken started kicking.

Aya stood up from Crawford's lap and was ready to attack the man who was hitting on his beloved Kenken, but was held back by the cuffs. "Darn these accursed things!"

After a few struggled moments Schuldich finally got into his seat with Ken sitting snuggly on his lap and sucking on a piece of licorice. No, rather… a hundred of those chewy things stuffed in his mouth to make him shut up. Schuldich grinned to himself with glee before turning to Crawford, throwing the two bottles of Vodka to him. As the bottles zoomed in the air, Aya caught one with an outstretched hand, uncapped it and downed the whole content of the bottle in one go.

His companions stared at him in aw.

"What?" he asked tilting his head, as he put the cap back on the bottle. "If I'm gonna sit here the whole night with this prat then I'd rather get drunk."

"Hey, where's mine?" Crawford whined.

"Here." Aya bonked him the head with the other bottle.

"OW! SONOVA- "

"Ssssssssshhh!" Some of the people in the theater hissed at their backs.

"Hey, did you guys even _see_ at our tickets?" Omi said not minding the complaining people.

"No," Yoji said plainly. "Why? Did we buy tickets for the Spongebob Movie or something?"

"No. I think we got 'The Ring 2'." Crawford said.

"'The Ring'?" Ken's scared little voice peeped.

"Yeah, it's good isn't it? Nice n' scary." The German grinned while rubbing his hands together.

"Hey, I didn't come here to watch a scary movie!" Omi wined.

"Well to bad, you're just gonna have to cling to me when you get scared." Yoji teased.

Omi was about to smack the older blond silly when suddenly the whole theater went dark and the last of the movie trailers were shown. Schuldich leaned back to his seat and put his arms behind his head as if tired of boredom.

"I'd say this's gonna be one boooOring movie…" Shculdich drawled.

"Excuse me?" Ken started to protest, placing his hands on his hips. "Who was the stupid idiotic bastard who dragged us all out here?"

"Uh…- I did?" and that earned him a good smack upright the head.

"So stop complaining damn it!"

"I -hic- love you…" said an oh so familiar deep voice which suddenly had a dazed tone in it. All heads were turned to Aya's direction, who was found nuzzling on Crawford's neck.

"Boy, that alcohol sure was fast." Yoji mused.

"Aww… isn't that cute?" another smack hit Schu in the head.

Ken stared… didn't know weather to cry or be angry. He guessed crying would be easier. He suddenly threw a hissy fit and started wailing. "Why? Oh why! OH WHY AYA! WHY?"

"Shsssssssssssssshh!" another complaint came from the people around them.

"Would someone shut Ken up?"

Schuldich had the better idea of how to shut the former athlete up. He grabbed for Ken's hair and pulled him into a fast, deep, startling, long but sloppy kiss. The brunette groaned and tried to free himself from the grip but to no avail. He grabbed a fist and threw it hard to the German's face making the man cry in protest.

"DON'T YOU _EVER_ DO THAT TO ME AGAIN YOU BASTARD!" Ken said as he pulled away from the kiss. Schuldich rolled his eyes while rubbing his sore cheek.

Just then came an oh so familiar loud music and big bold yellow words came scrolling up the movie screen saying "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…"

"Hey waitaminute! Isn't this Star Wars?" Omi said out loud then he turned and glared to Schuldich who was stifling a laugh. "You said we were watching 'The RING 2'…!"

"Oh… so that's why there were those weird people outside wearing cloaks and painted faces. I thought there was a mad protest or something." Yoji realized.

Schuldich placed his arms behind his neck and leaned back, "Why would we watch a lame English version remake of a Japanese horror film when there are other good movies around?… And besides, this has Jedi Cleavage."

"err… _Jedi Cleavage_? What the hell is that?" asked a squirming Ken on his lap.

The orange haired shonen licked his lips before answering. "Well if _Pirates of the Caribbean_ had Pirate cleavage, which is 'pretty pirates with open shirts' then this has Jedi Cleavage – pretty Jedi's with open tunics." He finished with an evil grin.

"Really? And I thought you were a hard core Star Wars fan." Crawford said.

"Oh I am. I am I hard a core fan of Gorge Lucas' Bitches… especially Anakin."

"Why him?"

"Because aside from the fact that he's an evil sexy bad guy, the guy who plays as him is gay. And a very sexy one at that."

Ken rolled his eyes. "Figures."

"Shsssssssssssssssssssh!" the people around them hissed.

Our boys decided to sit back, relax, shut up and eat popcorn.

------------------------------------------

"_The Dark Side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural._" came Palpatine's famous line.

"You know what? It would be a better line if he just said _'Come… come… come over to the Dick Side.'_ " Schuldich said. A few of his companions chuckled to themselves. They were surprised to here the crazy cackling of Farfarello who was now suddenly sitting in front of them.

"Hey, how'd you guys get there?" Yoji pointed at Farf and Nagi out front.

Both of them shrugged. "No idea."

"The _Schwartz _Side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural."

Everyone sniggered.

--------------------------------------------

After several expensive chase scenes, visual special effects, animated Yoda, light-saber fight scenes, A few hundred stromtooper armies, some weird aliens, a very sexy, dark and hot Anakin Skywalker turned to Darth Vader minutes later…

"Boy that was a hell lot'a crap!" Yoji criticized with a vain popping on his fore head. People were already going out of the theater in packs as they chatted about the movie. "I bet Spongebob was even better than that."

"Geez tell moi about it." Ken agreed while rolling his eyes. "Anakin was hot the entire time that he got too hot and got burned with boiling hot lava. Serves him right… Stupid idiotic love-sick bastard."

Schuldich stood from his seat making Ken to topple over to the floor." Ow! You inconsiderate bastard!"

Schuldich smirked. "Well, I'm off to get my money back. I demand a refund." He declared. "Who's with me?" He looked over to Yoji who was in a thoughtful state. "Whatcha thinking about Yoji?"

"I'm just wondering on how many ways to make out on a theater seat." He said while rubbing his chin.

Schuldich licked his lips and leaned seductively. "Why don't we find out for our selves Yotan?"

Yijo smirked. "Lets."

Omi rolled his eyes while pulling on Nagi's arm. "Lets get out'a here before something bad happens."

"Why?" Nagi tilted his head.

Omi pointed to the others. They saw Yoji and Schuldich totally getting it on, on the theater seat – Aya and Crawford passionately making out on the floor - a crying Ken who was crying over Aya and was struggling to get away from Farfarello who was trying to get it on with him.

Both boys gulped as the nervously escaped out of the theater.

-Owari-

* * *

Whahahahahahah! I hate this… this is crappy… -crumples the piece of paper and throwing it to the huge pile of more crumpled papers- Sorry folks, but you'll have to do with this. I just can't squeeze anymore ideas in this head of mine. It's been sucked dry. So would somebody out there give me ideas? I really need it. X.x

Disclaimer: As promised I put all the disclaimers here. Ehem. -clears throat and looks over to a piece of paper- Star Wars isn't mine! It belongs to Gorge Lucas and his cronies. And Weiss Kreuz isn't mine either. It belongs to Koyasu Takehito and his cronies. SO LEAVE MEH ALONE!

One more thing though. Is Hayden Christensen really gay? I have no idea. My friends tell me so.

Up next: a trip to the hotsprings! Kimono galore! And a truck full of deranged bishounen!

Review! Review! Review! Review I say! Or feel the wrath of my uh… pointy err… pointy thing!


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